If I were a Smiley Face What Would I be?

Caroline and I made some peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for a lunch while hiking with the Zirkers today. I labelled the sandwiches for us, one with crunchie and one with smooth, but which is which? Guess in the comments and we will let you know who is right when we post about our hike.

"Maria, is that you?"

As some of you may know the neighbors that live just south of us have (or had) a chicken living in there back yard in a wee' little coupe, we'll call the chicken Maria. Recently the landlord of the house moved the coupe to the backyard of the abandoned house next to us (in preparation to do some work back there). Well, our dear neighbor a few houses west of us, we will call him Mr. J pays close attention to the abandoned houses on our street (a whole other story). Mr. and Mrs. J mind these houses like their own little children- watering the lawn, the house, the gutters, mowing the lawns, cutting limbs, etc etc... (side note 'a': there is no trespassing on these properties under the careful watch of Mr. and Mrs. J).

Anyways yesterday I came home from getting my haircut (again) there was a policeofficer at the house next door, along with Mr. J and the chicken, Maria, in a net. Poor little Maria was being assisted into a cage in the back of the truck. So as I got out of my car I thought, should I go tell them who the chicken belongs to or mind my own business. I choose the second as I didn't want to risk having our electricity turned off again or anything (see post below: the sting) by a suspected Mr. J (side note 'b': I suspect Mr. J phoned the police to let them know there was a trespasser on the property; see 'side note a').

So I am left to wonder, what will happen to Maria? Where do confiscated chickens that have been trespassing on abandoned property under the care of Mr. and Mrs. J go? I hope that tonight, before you cook that chicken breast to a nice golden color, you will lean down and say, "Maria, is that you?"

A Little Bit of Everything

This Saturday I did something that I haven't done since I was a kid: go to a gun show. Sometimes as a kid my Dad and I would go to the gun show together. It was more for him, but I always got excited about the military jive you see there. The funny thing is that I went with Caroline's Dad and when I called my Dad to tell him, he happened to be at a gun show up in Calgary. Hewas so proud of his son following in his footsteps. : )

The really interesting thing about going to the gun show is that you see people from every walk of life and I mean every. I cannot recall another place with such a diverse collection of characters and normal people. You have normal dads and kids, preppy rich people, red necks, old men, hunters, gangsters, gothic people, punk teenagers, veterans, and mountain men who look like they just walked out of the bush and into the convention center wearing clothes they made themselves out of something they shot.

One of the funniest and scariest moments was when I saw two Mexican gangsters, complete with tatoos and huge diamond earings, looking like kids in a candy store as they tested out their shoulder harnesses that held a Glock on each side. I wanted to laugh and then call the cops and tell them to follow the guys to the hit they were getting ready for. It was quite a show and the guns were pretty cool too.

While my Dad ended up buying two guns, at least that was all he admited to, I didn't buy anything. I didn't go home empty handed though, my father-in-law bought me 250 rounds of 9mm ammo and I am already thinking about the smell of gun powder. Ahhh, a Sig is a beautiful thing.

I hope you enjoy the lovely video of my gorgeous wife doing her best Erkle impression.

You Can't Please Everyody

One of the sad, but simple truths in life is that you cannot please everybody. I think that a large part of this problem is that you can't ever please certain people. It is not so much a problem of: I chose to do 'A' and they wanted 'B', as I chose to do 'A', they wanted 'A', but because I chose it they suddenly want 'B' so that they still have something to complain about.

I suppose that is one of the problems of living in a wealthy society, people don't have really problems so they find other things to gripe about. In most places around the world they struggle to have enough food and live in something like a tin shed, while here we complain about crazy neighbors or how the internet was down for a whole five minutes. Ahhh the disasters of a wealthy nation...

What got me thinking about this today was the Chevrolet Volt. It is GM's Holy Grail. They are betting billions on its success and the future use of the technology they develop for it. It is a hybrid, but unlike any hybrid car currently on the market for two reasons. First, you can plug it in, charge it up, and drive on battery power for 40 miles, which is more than 80% of Americans need for their daily driving. Second, is that all other hybrids are set up as internal combustion engine, with an electric assist engine that helps when moving slow or for a burst of power, but the Volt is not. It is power solely by an electric motor and the internal combustion engine acts solely as a generator to charge the batteries and power the electric motor, achieving 40mpg or better for all driving conditions. This is a much better way to set things up, especially when thinking long term, since all new car will eventually by electric anyway.

Now their are ton of people complaining about the Volt these days, when they should be cheering. They complained that GM didn't make a hybrid and needed better vehicles, so GM makes an amazing one and they still complain. The issue, if you could call it that, is that they think it is ugly, especially compare to the concept version. Personally, I think both look good, but concede that the production version looks nothing like the concept, but since this happens with every single car ever made I don't understand the protest fest that it has inspired with the Volt. And so I reiterate, you can't please everybody, mostly because you can't please some people. It is still cool to bash on American cars and until that changes it will be cool to bash on the Volt, even though it is more eco-friendly, better technology, and better looking than the next gen Prius. Give me function and give me form, but only if my neighbor will be jealous.

I'mmmm dooonnnneee...okay not really

I am done writing my thesis. This is a true, well sort of true statement. After many gruelling hours at the HBLL, fifth floor, cubicle 41b I have finished the first draft of my thesis. Now, I still have revisions to make (self-imposed and some future ones I am sure from my professors) but its there. I am SO happy! Ireally cannot believe it. So, in about 3 or 4 weeks I should be officially done, thesis stamped, signed, and collecting dust on the shelves of the HBLL. I accept flowers, food, and congrats!

One thesis almost done, one to go! (I will be officially joining team Brad now, you should join too!)

Birthday Present - A Boring LOOKING Car

Yesterday Caroline asked my what I wanted for my birthday. It may sound like a simple question, but really it is on the same level as yi+1 = yi + (xn/2)(a - yi2) or what is the meaning of life. I am one of those people who only wants stuff they need. No room for random jive around here, except for maybe a few really expensive toys. Thus the only thing that came to mind was a 2009 Audi RS6. I would be equally happy with either the sedan or the wagon. Personally, I think that the sedan looks better, but since we would have to live in it the wagon is probably a better choice.

In case you are asking yourself what on earth an Audi RS6 is let me explain. You take a normal looking sedan or station wagon and then you drop a Lamborghini Gallardo engine into it (Lamborghini and Audi are both owned by VW). To me this is the perfect car for so many reasons. Most important it is amazing to drive and second you look like you are in a normal car, so you can smoke unsuspecting victims and you don't look ostentatious while doing it. Ahhh, the stuff dreams are made of...

Dinner is in a box out Back

You know, I thought that Provo was a town, and a college town at that. What I did not realize was that it is also farm country. Caroline and I have discovered that our neighbors are raising some dinner in a box out back, you know something that might show up at KFC one day. It is rather odd to see young college boys keeping a chicken in a tiny doghouse.

Our power getting shut off, chickens, four abandoned houses on our street, a neighbor who likes to get drunk and dance on his roof, I am starting to wonder what kind of street it is that we actually live on. Next thing you know we will starting people walking pigs down street as pets.

Getting Wise or Inebriated

I thought that you loyal followers might be interested in a little update on operation 'catch the power buster'. Our foe has not returned yesterday or so far today, so our little plan has thus far yielded no fruits. Whether our cunning opponent has decided that it was foolishly to brazenly walk into our backyard and shut off the power in the middle of the day, make that twice in one day, or they are busy getting inebriated is unclear. What is clear though is that we still have power and no villians caught on video.

Our street wise friend T-Rav suggested that fingerprints might still be on the fuse box. I agree, but since such an attack on us might not warrant the police crime scene unit coming out to dust for prints we are open to suggestions as to how we might do this on our own. Just for fun of course and maybe for our personal collection of unsolved mysteries, although they sadly are not narrated by Robert Stack.

The Sting: Trying to Uncover our Secret Enemy

Until today Caroline and I just assumed that we were generally nice people and that we didn't have an enemy in the world, but today we have discovered that may be an illusion. This morning while Caroline was at the gym, with our car and I was sitting in the front room working on my computer the power went out. This occassionally happens in our house, it is old and sometimes the circuits just trip. Then I discovered that not only were the all of the plugs out, but so were the lights. They are on separate circuits and never go out at the same time. Thus, not suspecting the sinister nature of the event, which we would later uncover, I falsely assumed that the power in the neighborhood had gone out, so I just continued about my day, waiting patiently for the power to return.

When Caroline got home, I explained that the power was out, she wondered what was up and so she went next door to talk to our neighbors about it, only surprise surprise, they still had power and so did our neighbors across the street. This led us to go check our fuse box, which just happens to be on the outside of our house, attached the back corner. Our first clue that something was up was that the door to fusebox was not latched, just mostly closed. We always keep it latched, so when we opened it and all the switches were flipped, including the main breaker and the ones that don't do anything we knew that we had a mystery on our hands.

Our first thought was a prank, perhaps some mischievous person with a dash in his name. While this was a possibility it seemed unlikely, so we flipped all of the switches back to on and viola our power was restored.

A few hours later went to the public library to work on our theses (plural of thesis, anyone...ixoj) and when we returned home, low and behold, no power. Venturing into our backyard we discovered that once more the fuse box was mostly closed, but not latched. Since we had latched it just that morning, after the first incident, we knew for sure now that something was up. Once again while our car was gone the power was magically turned off.

So now we are trying to plan a sting operation, hoping to catch the villian in the act. The best we could come up with was to drive our car over to the home of our aforementioned friend who we initially suspected might have pulled a prank on us. Leaving the car there, we will then walk steathily all the way home and sneak back into our house by means of the alley and back door, so that our suspect, who will at the moment remain nameless, cannot see us return. Then we will wait and see if it happens again. Third time's the charm right. Now just incase we miss out on any attacks on our abode while we are setting up our trap we are going to set up a video camera in our garage, which just happens to face the fuse box and also just happens to have a hole in it (yes, quality I know).

Verily, I think we have all our bases covered, except for sloth. Two covert operations in one day maybe have strained the very limits of our enemy and left him or her lying in their home recovering and plotting, only to attack again another day when we least expect it.

We have decided that if our ploy yields no results today we will simply lock the fuse box and garage and continue on with our lives, perhaps never to know the identity of our assailant. If you have any cunning plans that might assist us, by all means please let us know.

Swimming in Statistics

This was my week. Lot's of statistics and statistically reporting. I took the week off of work and just worked on my thesis. It has been good, but trying to figure out what you are supposed to report in terms of statistics...yikes! I know how to read the output files and I can basically tell what my findings are, but knowing when to report the mean, the degrees of freedom, significance, t scores, etc. etc (example: (X2=5.069, df=2, n=123, p>.05). Please! According to Brad the reason we have to report all these lovely numbers is (and I quote), "It is a really fancy way that scholars have of saying I can't argue this with enough logic to convince other scholars so I will use a lot of math and confusing numbers to make it look like this is fact, when it is still theory"

The good news is...I am so, so, so close to being done with writing my thesis. I imagine that I will have some changes to make from my professors, but the gray cloud of thesis death is beginning to move away from me. I think that one or two more days of writing, and I will have a draft!

this is my brain................

..........this is my brain after a week of statistics!

Recent wedding

Our new camera has made photographing weddings so much more fun because I can take as many pictures as I want (well our card holds 800+ images). Here are a few of my favorite pictures from a wedding I recently photographed.

I thought that the image of the father giving away the bride was very cute (my little sentimental heart just loved it). Small boy caught in the act, got to love it. I only added the picture of the bride and her maid of honor because it looks a little too close to a "California" wedding if you get me drift.

By the way, I am going to update our website tonight or tomorrow, I haven't updated it in quite a while. So check it out.

Two things.

First, goodnews. My one blonde sister Jessie who is just older than me had a baby this weekend. Her name is Clara Tee Rather Lewis. The name Tee comes from my grandma, her name was Theresa, but we just called her "Tee". As you see Clara has dark hair, just like toe-head brother and strawberry blonde sister! We will wait and see if it turns red (another nephew started dark and turned red) or if it will remain really dark.

Number 2. I spent about 5 or 6 hours on campus today, mostly confined to a cubicle on the 5th floor of the library. But whilst there I saw at least 3 mustaches on students! Just because you can DOES NOT mean that you should. Fella's please, your killing me. I know the 80s have been reborn, but must the mustache come with that? I beg of you, leave the mustaches to Magnum PI and older European men.

My name is Brad and I am an addict...

So as you may or may not know, I love cars, all kinds of cars, American, European, Asian, whatever. For me it is more about the car itself than the brand. I love to see the new styles, I love to learn who just surpassed who in the horse power race, and who has just come up with what cool new technology to make cars better. There is pretty much always some new and interesting to discover, from the amazing new Nissan GT-R to Lotus' amazing engine that can pretty much burn anything, including alcohol. Thus, it was to my utter amazement and Caroline's disbelief that one day I discovered that I could get paid to read about cars and pass along what I find. Thus began my current occupation as an automotive researcher extrodinaire.

Now I do my best to keep my car addiction in check, but I have been known to occassionally 'get going' in much the same way parents can about their kids or my dear wife sometimes does about schedule xy and revision b39 from the warehouse for Jimbo Inc. I suppose that is what happens when you spend a great deal of time involved in anything, like a flock of teens gaggling about...well whatever it is that holds their attention for a few days.

Anyway, I am just giving everyone a heads up that some of my excessive time with cars may spill out onto these posts. Such as how could Jaguar be so foolish as to turn their XF into a Dodge Intrepid clone when the more aggressive looking concept won such acclaim or how shameless Honda was in copying the Prius with their new rendition of the hybrid only Insight. I mean sure the hood and grill are taken almost straight off of their Clarity Fuel Cell car, but the rest is all Prius.

So for all you car lovers I am eager to hear about whatever makes you salivate or rant, and for the rest of you hopefully my life will be diverse enough to enthral and entertain you as well.

Wiggly Caroline

I just thought that everyone should see how cute my little wife is. I don't remember when I took this video, but it always makes me smile. I think the gum chomping was for effect, but ya never know.

and it begins

I find myself drawn to the world of the blog. I read about my friends from the comfort of my couch, wondering, always wondering how they do it- how they live, how they survive, how they think, and yes my friends, how they blog. So here I am, at the beginning of my explanation of how a clark survives this wild, wonderful, sometimes weedy world.